An agnostic ministry? Yes! No faith required. You are welcome.

brother guy

my practice

My Path

If anyone had told me 30, 10, or even 2 years ago that I would be ordained as a minister in 2021 I would have questioned their sanity. Truth be told, I find it difficult to believe even now. My doctorate of divinity (DDiv.) is an honorary one, but my certificate of ministry is very real and I am allowed to perform legal weddings in most states. I am also authorized to provide spiritual support and guidance to people in prisons, jails, shelters, hospitals, hospices, and anywhere else they may find themselves.

And that is key: as someone who has lived in and worked in most of those settings, I knew how important it is to have someone who listens; someone who is present, who is a witness, who is living, breathing evidence that you are not alone!

I also knew how important it is that this "someone"/other person be kind, patient, non-judgmental, empathetic, and loving.

Many members of the clergy are, and/but many of the religious institutions they represent are not.

Both of my parents were raised in religious households in the 1930s and 1940s and both of them narrowly survived the Nazi occupation of The Netherlands (where I was born and raised). They taught me to think for myself and to question the validity of any philosophy, party, faith, or creed that claimed to represent absolute truth - especially if they contained doctrines about any individuals or groups being superior or inferior to any other individuals or groups.

My parents also taught me to respect people with beliefs different than mine, and to observe their actions rather than their beliefs.

I have always been curious about what people believe and how they cope with life's challenges, and I have learned a lot from talking with a wide variety of folks about this. Some people became my spiritual teachers and guides, including some relatively well-known ones like:

the late Issan Dorsey, founder of the Hartford Street Zen Center & Maitri Hospice,
the Reverend Cecil Williams of Glide Memorial Church, and
Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, Trans-rights activist, veteran of the Stonewall riots, the Attica Prison uprising, and founder/Matriarch of the House of GG and the Church of tilifi in Little Rock, Arkansas.

But most of my teachers were neither famous nor members of the clergy; they were people I met while they were classified and marginalized as "AIDS patients", "prisoners", "drug users", "sex workers", "undocumented immigrants", "activists", "mentally ill", or "homeless". Almost all of those classifications applied to me as well at one time or another during the course of my life.

And during my professional career as a social worker, clinical nurse specialist, program director, activist, consultant and trainer, I accrued over 40 years of experience listening to - and working with - people who are experiencing the kinds of hardship, marginalization, and lonelines that comes with being classified in these groups.

They taught me about resilience and hope, struggle, solidarity, empathy, connection, and love.

They taught me to support, to listen, to witness, to resist, to persist, and to rebel

And they taught me that whoever you are, and wherever you are, we are all children of the same universe.

UR Not Alone!

I Believe

That questions are more interesting than answers.

That there is a lot we do not know, and it would serve us best to always stay curious.

That we should be free to believe what we want, and to live as we want, with kindness and respect for others, and without shame, stigma, or guilt.

That it is not just our duty, but our purpose in life to try:

to love each other, care for one another
to raise hell and cause "good trouble" whenever any of us are victimized by the powers that be.

That Justice is what Love looks like in public (Dr. Cornel West)

That raising hell and causing good trouble can & should be fun! That Liberation Theology is most effective when practiced with joy and humor,

and:

If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution

(Emma Goldman)

My Community

UR-Not-Alone is affiliated with the Universal Life Church, (founded in 1962 in California), and loosely affiliated with the brand new Church of tilifi, founded in 2021 in Little Rock, Arkansas (more news about tilifi to follow. soon. Stay tuned!)

My community is in the Tenderloin, SOMA, Bayview, and Mission districts of San Francisco, and/but also in any urban "ghetto" and rural area where marginalized and racialized folks exist, persist, survive, and thrive in the US, Africa, and Europe.

Because of my heritage, my history, and trhough my extended family, I am afilliated with Rom (Gypsy), Western European, African/African-American, and TLGBTQ+ low/no income communities. But I have traveled a lot and interacted with a diversity of other cultures, always learning, always attempting to live and learn in cultural humility, and always, always, always eager to learn more.